Lutheran Denomination Starts “Worship Tattoo” Program

The Church Back Door

Clarksdale, MS-- The Lutheran but Always Friendly Synod (LAFS) voted 3-2 in convention today to begin a “Worship Tattoo” program. The small denomination based in Alligator, Mississippi is meeting in convention through October 15.

The small and tasteful tattoos would be applied to the thumbs of each church member to help them navigate the new liturgical worship orders. The tattoos will serve as a “key” to worship order abbreviations and will be visible as church members hold hymnals and worship bulletins.

Synod president, Rex P.L.W. Stuckworsch, commented:

Church members have been showing signs of verbal stumbling as we worship, so we wanted to help make worship more user friendly. The tattoos will be simple: If “P” and “C” are together in a worship service, the “P” will stand for Pastor and the “C” will stand for Congregation. If “P” is printed with an “L,” the “P” will stand for People and the “L” will stand for Liturgist. If a “C” is combined with the “L” and the “P,” the “C” stands for Celebrant. If and “L” appears in the context of an elder helping at worship, the “L” stands for Leader. An “A” may stand for Assistant or All, but usually All is spelled out completely. Clearly, this is a helpful tool for our worshipers. In addition, we believe the tattoos will attract more young people to our churches because tattoos are really in style these days--and we’re going to be using a cool Gothic font!

President Stuckworsch followed his comments by quickly giving an enthusiastic “thumbs up” sign to display his newly inscribed thumbs complete with gothic lettering.

In another development, the Handbell Musicians of America, debuted new Worship Key-coded Handbell Gloves at a convention display booth.

Lutheran Denomination Endorses Model T

The Church Back Door

Clarksdale, MS-- The Lutheran but Always Friendly Synod (LAFS) voted 3-2 in convention today to endorse the Ford Model T as the preferred mode of transportation for both clergy and laity. The small denomination based in Alligator, Mississippi is meeting in convention through October 15.

With the bold move of a recent name change, convention observers (that’s me, your diligent reporter; there really were no other observers) were shocked at what seemed to be a backward move. Synod president, Rex P.L.W. Stuckworsch, commented:

"Our denomination values the legacy of time-tested transportation. The Model T was foundational in the development and growth of the automobile industry. One might say that the Model T is the 'true mode of transportation' for drivers both past and present. Recent cultural developments in the auto industry promote an 'entertainment' mentality for drivers and a lightweight approach to hitting the roads. Car communication systems, radios, and even glass windows show that drivers are watering down the truth of what an automobile was meant to be. We’re opposed to the departure from an historic approach to driving practice and spirit."

When asked about how the church members might respond to this vote--especially younger people, Stuckworsch replied:

"Three of the five delegates to the convention have operational Model Ts in their barns at the present time. One delegate is close to getting his running. We anticipate a seamless transition. We’ll also be offering classes and conferences that teach the sound conduct of Model T driving. Under the theme “Maintenance Together,” we’ll have breakout sessions on how to operate a crank start mechanism, folding window flaps quickly and efficiently, and a fun session called 'To Rumble or Not to Rumble: Facing the Rumble Seat Decision.' We believe these events will show young people that serious and true driving still exists. I have no doubt that serious and true young people will participate with joy."

After the vote, LAFS commissioned its publishing house (Alligator Press) to produce a new instructional and service manual for all Model T vehicles. It will be called the Lutheran Transportation Service Book (LTSB).

The Church Back Door 1

Lutheran Denomination Changes its Name

Clarksdale, MS-- A small and little known branch of the Lutheran Church based in Alligator, Mississippi recently changed its denominational name as it met in convention at Abe’s Bar-B-Q in Clarksdale. In its first order of business, The Lutheran Church Pret’ner only in Mississippi Synod (LCPMS) voted 3-2 to change its name to The Lutheran Always Friendly Synod (LAFS) to simplify its name and create a welcoming environment for newcomers.

Synod president, Rex P.L.W. Stuckworsch, commented: “The LCPMS name was confusing people and seemed to be limiting the accessibility of our fine organization. We believe the new name will open the door to new participation as well as continue our legacy for the theology we proudly study.”

The convention continues through October 15 and promises many new initiatives for this little Lutheran group. While consisting of only three congregations, the newly named LAFS takes pride in its enduring history and its active work to preserve the once thought lost Amalia, one of the five ships that departed Europe in 1839 with Saxon immigrants led by Rev. Martin Stephan. The group sought religious freedom. According to LAFS history, the Amalia arrived in New Orleans much later than the other four ships in its group. Some of the 60 Saxons on board made their way up the Mississippi River, but after tiring early and falling into a dispute over leadership and governance, settled in the small town of Alligator.

Four New Mission Attitudes

The church is craving to recover its Biblical pathway for being what Jesus created it to be. Wherever I go I hear, “How can we reach the youth?”, “We need to figure out how to reconnect with the community,” and “We’re slowly dying, but we don’t know what to do.”

People’s hearts are ready to consider a different way of doing church. Consider these Four New Mission Attitudes that I’ve observed flowing out of faithful Christian communities effectively reaching the lost:

1. LOOK BEYOND THE MEMBERSHIP DIRECTORY. Churches are realizing that their pool of participants is not merely inside the church; it is located throughout the community. People want to make a difference in the world but don’t know how. The church offers the greatest difference-making potential in the world. Looking to neighbors, friends, co-workers, and community leaders as participants in church efforts creates a non-threatening and welcome linkage to the body of Christ.

2. START WITH RELATIONSHIPS. Programs, mass mailings, announcements in the church bulletin, or appointing a committee to do the work are not what engage people. Relationships do. Entering into real relationships and letting the Holy Spirit chart the course will fuel a Kingdom movement. The place to start is your family. You calling is not to be the Savior of the world. That’s Jesus. Your calling is to reach the people God has placed around you and patiently let the Spirit build the Kingdom momentum one person at a time.

3. INVITE PEOPLE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE, NOT ATTEND A MEETING. People are tired of organizational gymnastics and time-wasting meetings. The way to connect with others is by inviting them to making a difference with you. 20% of the population values attending church. 90% of the population wants to make a difference. Invite people to do mission with you. Let the Spirit change their lives and lead them to a holy desire to gather.

4. TELL THE STORY. Our society is not very literate. 60% of college graduates will not read another book after graduation. Instead of making faith in Christ overly academic, it’s time to remember that our faith is a miraculous and exciting true story of Jesus’ death and resurrection. It’s also the miraculous and true story of how Jesus has impacted you. This is really not rocket science. You don’t need a degree. Tell the story. Tell your story. And let the stories of grace cascade into a movement of lives transformed by the Spirit.

Is There More to Mission?

Implementing church programs can be a bit of a pain sometimes, can’t it? Sure, there are many benefits and blessings that come out of programs, but they require a lot effort, energy, and resources. They can dominate the allotted church service announcement time. They can even distract from the main thing as people get caught up in making the programs work.

I’ve heard mission described as a program that can become a nuisance. If everything is about mission, it’s been said, then people may water down real theology in order to boost numbers, promote extraneous activities to get people in the doors, and veer away from the truth so everyone can feel good about meeting people’s needs.

There’s just one problem here: the paragraph above doesn’t accurately describe mission. Mission is not a program.

Mission is the Latin word for the Hebrew “shalach” and the Greek “apostello.” It means “to send,” as in God sending Himself, sending people, sending prophets, sending disciples, sending the Word, and sending the Word made flesh, Jesus! This is no extraneous, time-frittering, church-growth-fad word. This is the core of God’s nature, revealed to us in the Bible. This is the ball game.

Without mission, there is no Word of God. Without mission, there are no sacraments. Without mission, there are no creeds. Without mission, there is no liturgy. Without mission, there are no Confessions. Without mission, there is no Church. Without mission, there is no life and salvation. Without mission, there is no hope.

As Georg Vicedom said in his classic book “The Mission of God”:

“The mission is work that belongs to God. This is the first implication of missio Dei. God is the Lord, the One who gives the orders, the owner, the One who takes care of things. He is the Protagonist in the mission. When we ascribe the mission to God in this way, then it is withdrawn from human whims…The mission, and with it the church, is God’s very own work. We cannot speak of ‘the mission of the church,’ even less of ‘our mission.’ Both the church and the mission have their source in the loving will of God” (pp.5-6).

If that is true, what human whims might we be putting above The Mission as we assert that The Mission is merely a human whim?

There is No God, Or is There?

Two recent changes in the nature of unbelief have taken hold in recent years.

First, the atheistic mindset has become more militant in nature. Characterized by people like Richard Dawkins, the assault against God and against believers in God has become vitriolic and insulting. Atheists are instructed to call believers fools and to dismiss them as unable to think or reason.

Second, people have stopped caring. The spiritual climate in our nation is dominated by apathy. It’s not unusual to encounter the thought: “God may or may not be around. Who cares?” People don’t even care much about atheists!

Do these two developments have any significance? Yes.

Militant atheism pushes people to live in denial and to think irrationally. Anger at God, life, religion, or the church that may drive atheistic rejection of God sends people into an detrimental way of life. It’s just not healthy to live in anger and denial. Furthermore, denying historical and eyewitness accounts of the supernatural and the miraculous leads people into inaccurate thinking. It’s bad science to ignore documented facts.

An apathetic attitude toward the Divine leads people to miss out on life. In addition to staying at arm’s length from the natural events of life, this apathetic approach robs people of the deeper mysteries of life.

What’s the answer? In a perfect world it would wonderful if everyone could engage in balanced thought and stimulating discourse about the possibility of the miraculous and supernatural. But this isn’t a perfect world.

So, the next alternative may actually be the best. It’s up to God to do the convincing. He’s the best One to prove Himself to a doubting world. He’s also the best candidate to pursue us when we don’t care.

Watch out. God has a track record of surprising a denying and slumbering world.

Why a Convention?

Around the LCMS, district conventions have taken place or will take place. The Texas District begins its convention on Thursday, June 21. Most comments I’ve heard about conventions recently haven’t been positive. I’ve heard it said that they’re “boring,” they’re “expensive” or “they don’t have any Kingdom significance.” Honestly, I’ve even thought similar things.

Years ago, as a new pastor, I visited with retired men who spoke much differently about church conventions. They commented about the wonderful fellowship, the joyful blessing of being together and worshipping together, and the unity of mission as decisions were made. Of course, not every convention was perfect, but these men who looked back to the 1950’s and earlier had a glimmer in their eyes as they remembered good days in the church.

Times have changed. Institutions and organizations are not very popular. Organic, grass-roots ministry is what people crave. But might we be forgetting something?

A number of years ago my family and I visited some missionary friends in a small village in West Africa. We didn’t go there to build a building. We didn’t go there to do a project. Our friends asked us to visit and just be there! We talked to people, met with village elders, prayed together, and hung out together. The result? A remarkable sense of mutual encouragement unfolded. I realized that I was in the middle of a remarkable ministry of “presence.” Being there meant so much to the people we met. Being there with the people we met meant so much to us. Genuine spiritual encouragement was happening. Undistracted by a list of tasks, the value of relationships took hold. A sense of the body of Christ became very real.

An African gentleman told me a while back that we Americans are terrible at relationships. That may mean that we are not reflecting the foundations of the early church when “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer” (Acts 2:42). Maybe we need to be together a bit more--pulling our eyes away from screens (computer, cell phone, tablet, television), look into each other’s eyes, bear one another’s burdens, and lift up hands in prayer together.

Maybe that’s what the deeper value of a convention is. Please pray for the groups that gather this year, and for us in Texas. The powerful ministry of presence may advance God’s Kingdom more than we realize.