A new communication tool has been unveiled recently. It’s a mass media monster that will transform society. The battery life is endless. It’s in 3-D (no glasses needed). And it truly can change your life. Is it a new gadget? The latest social networking site? No, it’s bigger than that.
It’s conversation.
This is how it works: two or more people meet personally. They boot up their voice boxes and minds—perhaps with some java. Then they talk. With each other, they engage in what has been called a lost art. They exchange ideas and experiences. They express opinions. They share news. They laugh. They may even cry. But after the uploading and downloading, their lives are never the same.
I got to spend the afternoon with my daughter at a “Dads Day” hosted by her sorority. There were lots of dads there with their sweet daughters. We tailgated and went to a baseball game. It was really fun. But it wasn’t the activities that made it fun for me. It was spending time talking with my daughter. She’s a conversationalist. The baseball game lasted for 2 ½ hours. We talked the whole time. After the dad’s day festivities we went out for dinner. For another two hours, we talked. It was great.
But it was great for me, not because of what I was able to say, but because of what I was able to hear. I loved hearing my daughter’s opinions, thoughts, and experiences. I was thrilled to hear how she was growing, what interests she was developing, and what struggles she was facing. We didn’t solve the problems of the world or finish our to-do list, but something very good happened. That’s what conversation does.
This is where relationships begin. This is how you become close to people. This is one of the basic building blocks of sharing Jesus with someone. This is how news spreads best (word of mouth). But this is also one of the greatest challenges you will face.
Conversation requires listening and thinking. Listening requires sacrifice. Thinking calls for engagement. We live in a culture that plays on our need to need. We need stuff. We need attention. We need notoriety. We need to make our mark. We need to be busy and do our stuff. This neediness cuts us off from each other. When all we do is want and take, we will never be available to engage and give. If we’re never available to engage and give, we cut off God’s work through us.
The mission begins with conversation. But you will face barriers—many of them within yourself.
First is the unwillingness or inability to listen. It is so easy to want to talk about yourself. It’s so easy to dive into your life instead of asking about someone else’s life. It is so tempting to speed past someone else’s comments and get to what you want to share. Conversation requires the discipline to be quiet, to think about what another person is saying, and to dig deeper into what that person is sharing and experiencing. A good response to someone in conversation is a question that seeks to understand and find out more. If you listen well, you’ll find out that you end up receiving exactly what you need. Someone will listen to you, too.
Second is being too busy and distracted. You know how it goes: cell phone, TV, computer, newspaper, your thoughts, your agenda coursing through your brain. Conversation requires engagement. Look a person in the eye. Think about them, not you and your stuff. Be with one person in the moment.
Third is being competitive instead of compassionate. You don’t have to prove yourself all the time. You don’t have to trot out your resume and let people know how great you are. In addition, you’re not in competition with the person you’re speaking with. Just be there. Let your care show who you are. Let your selflessness lift the other person up. After all, what is your mission? Do you exist to exalt yourself? Or are you here to bring the presence of Jesus to a hurting and dying world?
How is conversation going in your life?
(Church Planting Series, Part thirty-three)
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