Family

Church Planting Series, Part ten

NFL quarterback and politician Jack Kemp died this month. Columnist Mona Charen, a former speech writer for Mr. Kemp, wrote a wonderful tribute to this accomplished American. At the end of her article she commented: “Though he achieved great things in public life, he managed to do it without neglecting his family. That is a man in full. He will be greatly missed.”

“A man in full.” Why? Because he was a champion football player? No. Because he overcame adversity throughout his life? No. Because he made a name for himself in the political world? No.

He was “a man in full” because he didn’t neglect his wife, his four children and his 17 grandchildren.

Being involved in church planting—-and any ministry for that matter—-can become all consuming. The excitement and constant demands can eat up every hour of the day. The plans for what’s coming next can dominate your thoughts. The needs of other people can pull you away from relationships in your life-—mentally, emotionally, and physically.

The question is: will you let your calling as a servant of Christ make you a “man in part,” an inattentive husband, a distracted father, an absentee family member, a short-fused presence around the house, a one-dimensional shell of a human being—all, allegedly, in the name of Jesus?

As ministry reached a frenzied pace, Jesus said to His disciples in Mark 6:31, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." Our Savior who rose early in the morning to pray, who stuck to the outskirts of town to avoid crowds, and who knew when His time hadn’t come and when it had, was all about a healthy rhythm of life. He came to sacrifice His life, but He didn’t come to wreck His relationships. He came to put it all on the line, but He didn’t neglect the people in His life. No, He served them. He ate with them. He conversed with them. He washed their feet. He loved them.

Your primary witness of Christ’s love to the world starts with the people closest to you. It starts with your family. If you want the world to take notice of Jesus in you, it’s not going to be through a sermon or ministry program or church plant. But the world will take a close look at how you love your family, how you allocate your time and attention, and what kind of person you are when you’re not on stage.

Of course, loving your family and living a balanced life isn’t just so the world sees a good guy in action. You love your family because Christ first loved His. You love your family and devote time to them because you’ve made a commitment to do it. Most of all, because it’s joyful and delightful to cherish the gift God gave you in them.

It takes work to carve out dependable time for your spouse and children. It takes persistence and discipline to establish boundaries. As life changes, it takes trial and error to establish a trustworthy rhythm that honors your loved ones and allows you to serve God’s people faithfully. But finding this rhythm reflects the character of our Creator who rested. It also makes God’s self-sacrificial love real and demonstrable in your life.

An experienced pastor friend of mine said, “If you sacrifice your family on the altar of the church, the people of the church will not admire you. They’ll think you’re a fool.” Mona Charen might add that it is a high calling and a great legacy to end your life not as a “man in part,” but as “a man in full.”