Lutheran Denomination Shuts Down Churches for Two Years

The Church Back Door

Clarksdale, MS-- The Lutheran but Always Friendly Synod (LAFS) voted 3-2 in convention today to shut down churches for the next two years. The small denomination based in Alligator, Mississippi is meeting in convention through October 15.

The church shut-down was, the convention emphasized, in the interest of expanding the work of the church.

Synod president, Rex P.L.W. Stuckworsch, commented:

“I was reading a theological work the other day and discovered a remarkable insight that our pastors need to understand. Because our pastors can’t make the claim to be expert theologians, the convention believed that, in the interest of the church, we close our congregations for two years, bring the pastors back to the seminary, and make sure they’re up to speed in this critical area of theological understanding.”

When asked what would happen to the churches, the LAFS President said:

“The churches will have to wait. This is a matter of utmost importance. Our administrative structure will continue, so we will still be able to receive offerings and continue our salary and benefits compensation. We do not, however, want to recklessly allow congregations or individual believers to proceed on their own. We know that it can be very dangerous to let the Scriptures fall into the hands of untrained theologians. I shudder to think of the errors in belief that might result from such carelessness.”

The LAFS convention is in the process of approving four key initiatives for the coming triennium: Organizing, Planning, Meeting, and Preparing.

“We have an exciting future ahead,” Stuckworsch noted. “We just have to make sure we get it right.”

In another development, LAFS approved the launching of a capital fund drive that will help finance the house payments of pastors while they are living at the Alligator, Mississippi Seminary campus beginning in January of 2013. The theme of the fund drive will be: “Gathering is Always Good” (GAG).

Citing the new capital fund theme initials, President Stuckworsch said, “I hope the world develops a ‘GAG’ reflex when it hears mention of our denomination!”